6 Ways to Make them say "Yes!"

“He was slick as a whistle!”, you must have remarked in hindsight while examining a pair of shorts you bought from Colaba which your mom immediately dismissed as being overpriced.

And hey, what about those extended warranties that salespersons try to sell on all electronic devices you purchase these days? Don’t you privately gush about how it is unnecessary but end up cooing an agreement to that compliance-seeking executive?

Compliance is the art of getting other people to approve our requests. It is a form of social influence that involves one making direct requests to another; such as a politician asking for votes, an NGO asking for charity or a teacher asking her students to pay attention. These requests, if made in a particular fashion, can help us effectively achieve our goals.

How can we have people give in to our solicitation? Robert Cialdini, a renowned social psychologist, held that this end can achieved using several means. However, all of them are rooted in 6 basic principles.

1.       The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship:

The most favorable premise for achieving compliance is to share friendship or liking with the subject. Obvious as it may seem, if you had to choose between giving your money to a friend in need versus a passerby who has lost their wallet, you are likely to choose the former as the deserving party for your help. Thus, in order to have others agree to our requests, we must tactfully use impression management techniques so as to make them like us in the first place. One could make a moderated use of flattery (because who doesn’t like some pampering acknowledgment?) or even self-promotion whereby you point out your strong points to the target audience. Also, the way we groom ourselves plays an important role in sending out the ‘good vibes’ to people. Doing tiny favors and pointing out small, incidental similarities (e.g. your preferred coffee type)that you share with them goes a long way in creating a comfort zone and ultimately help us obtain compliance. This doesn’t imply manipulation. These are simple research based tools that have been found to yield results in the pursuit of persuasion.

2.       Consistency is the hallmark of the unimaginative—Oscar Wilde:

Yet, most of us tend to act consistently to promote the causes that we commit to. Not saying that consistency is a liability, but sometimes salespersons manage to use this tendency of ours to their advantage; mainly using the foot-in-the-door technique and lowball procedure. 

A salesperson placing her foot in your door essentially is asking you to accept a small and rather attractive offer-- one which is easy to say yes to and doesn’t entail a high expense or involvement. However, once you comply with this demand, they place a larger request which they have desired to achieve all along .Now you often find yourself say yes irrespective of your true feelings because the public commitment that you initially made weighs you down. I find the Dove soap advertisements as being a classic example of this technique in action. Would you find it easy to say no to Dove after using it for a 7 day challenge?

An example of the foot-in-the-door technique
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Moving on to the next consistency based approach, let’s say that you are off on a shopping spree with a cash crunch when you spot this beautiful Little-Black-Dress for Saturday night at a 50% off! Now you’re at the billing desk when to your horror, you are made aware that the discount is no longer valid and that due to mall staff negligence, the discount tag wasn’t removed. At this, it would make perfect sense to walk away. But, would you? Chances are that you will actually go ahead to pay for it in whole because your mind is already committed to buy the dress. This is the lowball technique using which compliance is obtained by making the deal less desirable after the target has accepted it.

3.       Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

This Golden Rule which has found its way into many world religions stresses on the principle of reciprocity that social psychologist, Jonathan Haidt has very well upheld as being the basic currency of social life. We are constantly in a boomerang state, treating people like they treat us. Thus, if a salesperson is generous enough to throw you a freebie, you are more likely to repay by buying that microwave. This is often referred to as the ‘that’s-not-all’ technique— given that the phrase in quotation marks often seals the deal for most of us. Another tactic, which is the exact opposite of foot-in-the-door method, is door-in-the face technique. It works on the premise that once a person rejects a large request, s/he is more likely to bow down to a smaller one which was actually desired all along. So the next time you want to watch your favorite TV show in peace, ask your sibling if they would surrender the remote control for the entire day. Of course they’ll start jumping up and down in protest. This is when you revise your previous plea and request them to simply let you watch your one-hour show. I am pretty sure the guilt of not heeding to your earlier request will make them give in to your true demand.

4.       Hurry! Offer only till stock lasts!

We are wired in such a way that as humans, we believe what is scarce is more valuable than what is available in plenty. Thus, it almost seems like the norm when all school guys want to date that one popular girl or all employers in the town fight tooth and nail to get that glamorous executive join their firm. This is the ‘playing hard to get’ technique whereby compliance is ensured by letting the target know that one is too precious to be obtained without facing solid competition from counterparts. Scarcity as a principle for creating compliance is also highlighted in the deadline technique used by all superstores when they announce the most-awaited End of Season sale. The unspoken message that is sent out tightly attached with the discount pamphlets is that, “If you don’t get this now, you’ll regret buying it later at a higher price.” However, if you closely notice, the sale is often extended and prices keep falling by the day until much later than the prescribed date. So, this time when you’ll find yourself drifting in the upcoming Monsoon Sale hype on an online shopping platform, step back to examine if it is consumer psychology at work!

5.       Please “Like” me!

Social validation makes us comply. If we have a reason to believe that the people who we can relate to are all acting in a particular way then even we tend to act in the same way. It gives us a sense of security by making us believe that “Since others are doing it too, I am correct.” This explains why absence runs in groups, why vote banks hold strength in politics or why you give your thumbs up on a particular meme on Facebook that all your friends seem to like but you don’t quite get.

6.       It’s not wisdom but authority that makes a law—Thomas Hobbs

If you believe that someone has legitimate right to be in charge and exert influence onto others, you are likely to comply and follow this person’s directions. Usually in the collectivist cultures, children believe that their parents have the authority to guide their behaviors and so they are likely do as it pleases their parents. Hence, if your little brother asks you to get him a glass of water, you’ll probably throw him a dirty look and walk away but if your mother asks for a glass, you wouldn’t dare act in the same way.

Summing it all, there are many ways to change others’ behavior to elicit that “Yes!” All you really need is to follow some psychologically based compliance-fostering principles and techniques to master the art of persuasion.